i have always wondered what it is like to be truly understood and known. would people still think of me the way they said they did?  

i do not think i have told anyone about my secret dream of being a singer, because actually saying it out loud almost seems silly. there is also one major problem – it’s this incredible stage fright i cannot seem to get rid of. i recall having signed up for a singing contest at school and eventually chickened out (the same thing happened three years in a row!) because the anxiety was simply too overwhelming. so the idea was there but it was never something i pursued seriously. 

fast forward to 2015, i was alone and bored in my dorm. i had my ukulele with me, though i couldn't play it very well. i vaguely remember picking the alias 'paper girl' out of a mixture of shame and angst. i did not want to use my real name and still thought i wasn't good enough, but i wanted to know what other people think about my music – was i as bad as i thought i was? in november 2015, i uploaded my first cover to YouTube. nothing happened for a while, and i uploaded consistently but it was all for fun. slowly the content has gained some traction and looking back, the comments and affirmations i have received were overwhelmingly positive and encouraging. i am more than grateful to have received such kind words from strangers – your words nourished me and instilled more confidence in me than you could imagine.

once i started creating my own music and getting my thoughts out there, i realised how much of an enjoyable experience it was for me. i always insisted on the way how people use words, and i was that annoying person who quibbled over (at least in my head) the semantics in the language(s) we deliver. the more writing i did, the more i enjoyed the process of crafting a message with the limited words we are given. i still struggle with being vulnerable in my music (both in expressing and sharing it), but i would say i found the best way to be.

thank you for your support and for making my long-secret dream a reality ♥ if you are new here, a warm welcome! join me on this journey as i keep on finding my voice and i hope you see a little of yourself in my music too.